


A Past Buried Under Ashes and Dust

by I_O_U_a_picture



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cassian Andor-centric, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, F/M, K-2S0 (mentioned), Light Angst, Minor Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso, Post-Canon, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Space Spanish, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29341011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_O_U_a_picture/pseuds/I_O_U_a_picture
Summary: A simple intelligence mission to Fest forces Cassian to face a past he wanted to forget.
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso, cassian - Relationship
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	A Past Buried Under Ashes and Dust

Cassian and Jyn had arrived on Fest, quickly making their way to the informant’s location, picked up the information, in the form of a data chip, and were leaving as quickly as possible. 

The walk to the collection point had given Jyn had allowed her to see a bit of Fest. Having high altitudes due to the almost endless mountains, it was cold. She was surprised that anything could be grown or produced here as it was that cold. She had thought Jedha was chilly - not so cold that she needed to dress as Cassian had in his parka. She had been to colder places (although the current base on Hoth, Echo Base, claimed first place), but Fest was colder than Jedha could have ever be. 

It also gave her an idea of what the Empire had been capable of before building the Death Star. There were bombed out streets, blaster burns on the sides of buildings and houses that were literal shells due to fire damage. The Empire didn’t really need a Death Star to destroy villages and towns - only worlds. 

This being said, she had noticed that the Festian people were a resilient lot. She had lost count of the number of houses she saw which were in some form of repair from any number of Empire caused damages. People here were making the best of it - too used to the near-constant threat of death and destruction. Children ran around on the streets, playing and shouting; babies clung to their parents’ shirt fronts (as much as they could through a high number of layers); couples held hands, walking through the streets. It was almost like any other planet. 

It made her wonder if Cassian’s claim that he had been in this fight since he was six years old was inaccurate. Maybe the more accurate version would have been “his whole life” - he just hadn’t known any different. 

On the return journey, they chose a different route back to their ship where Kay was waiting. It was a slightly less populated route - closer to the outskirts of the town they were in. This area seemed to have been left to its own devices - like it was cursed. There were streets devoid of life - while a fair number of these houses remained entirely intact. Almost like they had been frozen in time. 

It didn’t take Jyn long to notice that Cassian was uncomfortable. She’d known this as soon as they had been given this task but he managed to hide it - he would have been a shit spy otherwise - but the longer they were on Fest, the more his calm demeanour was slipping. 

Then he just stopped. And Jyn almost crashed into his back, since the pace he set had been brisk and his sudden decision to stop caught her off guard. Jyn looked in all the obvious places for snipers, tails or anything that would make Cassian suspicious. Nothing. She looked at her partner - he was breathing deeply, the exhaled air making dense clouds as it hit the colder outside air - and his head was firmly turned in one direction. 

Down one of these abandoned streets.

Before she could ask what was wrong, he started to walk down the street. 

‘Well,’ she thought, ‘may as well follow.’ Jyn shrugged and followed a few paces behind him. 

She watched as Cassian walked slowly and as he slowly drifted over to the right side of the street, gloved hand trailing along the wall as he went. They did this for about two-hundred metres before he stopped in front of a door which was wide open, barely hanging off its hinges. 

She watched as he seemed to steel himself, then committed to the act and walked in. No thought was given for the way the place looked or how sturdy the floor was. This was not like her Cassian at all. Yes, he could be reckless but he was calculating when he was. 

Dazed, she followed, watching as he moved into the centre of what would have been a considerable family home once upon a time. The bottom floor appeared to be open plan, half walls and a pillar here and there to break up space into separate areas. Jyn almost couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw plates sitting at a dining table, toys sat abandoned on the floor, some books on a side table and other furniture was still there - only time had corrupted them - soft furnishing had nibbles out of them while everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. It was almost as if the family that had lived here had just got up one day and left. 

But Jyn knew better. With the blast burns, the shell damaged houses and what little she knew of Festian history, she knew it was not the case. 

Lost in her bewilderment, she hadn’t noticed how Cassian had removed his glove and had placed his bare hand on one of the pillars. When she finally turned her gaze to him, it was because she heard a sniff. He was crouched next to it, bare hand moving over indentations which had been carved into the surface of the pillar. 

As she neared him, she could start to make out what was there. A clear line, starting from the same corner, travelling inwards for perhaps two or three inches, followed by a single letter. None of the lines were spaced evenly - some were barely indistinguishable from its neighbour. The only indicator being by the letters C, R and M, and a number is written next to it. The ‘M’ appeared most frequently, going all the way from one to sixteen. Jyn’s mind grasped the concept quickly. Although her parents had never done this - they hadn’t lived somewhere long enough for this to matter. Each letter was a child and each number corresponded to a name. 

Jyn carefully settled herself done next to Cassian, watching his hand stroke almost reverently over the marks scored on the pillar. She quickly took in each child’s growth, year on year, knowing the last time their parents must have done this family tradition. M must have been the eldest child, making it to his sixteenth year, R was ten and C was six. 

Six when whatever terrible thing happened here took place. 

Six when their life was dramatically changed - if the surrounding streets were anything to go by. 

Six… just like Cassian was when he was pulled into a war. 

Little six-year-old C had been Cassian. 

He sighed heavily, closing his eyes as a single tear escaped. She knew Cassian was not a fan of ‘big’ emotions - as a spy, these things could get you killed - and Jyn had enduring training for years which all but made being in touch with your emotions very difficult. But she knew he needed this. Leaning into him, she offered silent comfort and companionship, letting him know without words that she was here. 

That single tear was joined by another. Then another. And another. Then they fell like the rainstorm on Eadu on that fateful mission. Yet, with all these emotions pouring out of him, he remained silent, even as she pulled him into an embrace, his head in the juncture of her neck, her hand stroking his hair while his hands seemed to grip her jacket for dear life. It was the crying of someone who had long ago learned that making noise could end in pain. 

This continued for a few minutes but gradually his grip slacked and he let out one long, shaky breath before he tried to move away from her. She didn’t let him though, holding him for just a second longer and gave the back of his neck a comforting squeeze before allowing him to continue his original movement. 

She allowed him a few moments to compose himself - waiting for his breathing to settle before she spoke. He beat her to it. 

“My sibling’s names were Rosario and Mateo,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “Mateo was the oldest - he had a job over at the spaceport. He wanted to be a mechanic. Rosario was four years older than me - we used to get ourselves into trouble a lot - getting underfoot, climbing things we shouldn’t have, kid stuff. 

“My parents…” his voice cracked on the words and he tilted his head upwards as if that would stop the tears from restarting. He cleared his throat before starting over. “My parents were, well, our parents I guess. At six you don’t really care too much for what they do. Mi madre was a doctor and mi padre was a droid mechanic. I used to spend a lot of my time with him at his workshop.”

“Explains how you could reprogramme Kay-two,” Jyn whispered, a small smile pulling at her lips. It was worth the risk of interrupting him as he smiled back in kind. She knew bits and pieces of the story about how Cassian had managed to acquire and reprogramme a K-X model droid who was, at this very moment, probably worriedly waiting on them. Not that Kay would ever admit that he worried about them - only Cassian. 

The silence which followed was surprisingly comfortable, considering where they were. Jyn could see Cassian was struggling to continue, his jaw muscle clenching and unclenching. A few moments later, he managed a soft, “a miss them.”

“I know,’ she replied, her left hand softly grabbing his right hand and intertwined their fingers. “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfiction in years that I have published. I had planned to have a few further scenes but it just felt right to stop here. Anyway, comments are appreciated.


End file.
